FILM!

I've been on set 3 weekends in a row, crazy hours, in all different roles and I love it. I'm working on a bigger set with a full crew, a student production, and its amazing. I have so much fun with them and I learn a lot. I've done production design, helped with the producers role, grip and electric, blocking, stan-in, mundane PA tasks and its been brilliant. Bummed not to be with them this weekend, but I had to do my own thang...

So I shot my first shoot last night (more on this later I'm too tired to think straight and do it justice), completely flipped my bedroom and its strange, in theory i like it better this way, its cleaner, sleeker, more adult, more like a bachelor, haha, essentially how i think in my head my room should look when I'm really grown, really have my own place. Had to take my 9 Bob posters off the wall to prepare and now I kind of miss them. We'll see if I decide to live in my set or return to my space.

thoughts:

Actors are incredible. The idea of living out your emotions constantly, being so raw, so real, bearing your soul for constant scrutiny day-to-day is wild. I'm an artist, but acting it something completely different. I know one thing for sure I will never be, and thats someone who takes actors for granted or disrespects them.

I can do this. I've been so afraid of being here, in this space, this place, this environment. But I realized that it's really just about who you are as a person, just as everything is. I've been so nervous I forgot that its really just about relationships with people, and that's what I really care about too. Living a life where I can form relationships and create art is all I want to do, and this is for sure the space to do it.

Community. I am building a community, and I realize it is a network, but it goes far beyond the word "networking" a phrase which I disdain the connotations of, but for me its less like a spider web and more like a cocoon.