The sounds of Dylan somehow reminded me of a slightly buzzed conversations about fetishism in which I was the perpetrator. What an interesting, absurd, and yet perhaps accurate idea. As a black woman who studies these things I'm always hyper conscious of the way that I'm being viewed and the way in which my public performance effects this view. Hyper conscious and self conscious are two very different things though, in my world I would consider the former to be positive and the latter negative. So... the question remains could I possibly be fetishizing my newest crush, is it possible for me to do so. As one of my freshman would say, Certainly.
They'll stone you when you're walking on the street
They'll stone you when you're trying to keep your seat
They'll stone you when your walking on the floor
They'll stone you when your walking to the door
But I would not feel so all alone
Everybody must get stoned
They'll stone you when you're trying to keep your seat
They'll stone you when your walking on the floor
They'll stone you when your walking to the door
But I would not feel so all alone
Everybody must get stoned
Certainly. To fetishize is to make a fetish of something.
fet⋅ish
[fet-ish, fee-tish]
Show IPA–noun
| 1. | an object regarded with awe as being the embodiment or habitation of a potent spirit or as having magical potency. |
| 2. | any object, idea, etc., eliciting unquestioning reverence, respect, or devotion: to make a fetish of high grades. |
| 3. |
|
So...have I been fetishizing my crush, I would say that when you fetishize someone you are intensely interested in them as an idea, and the idea of them gets in the way of how you really see them or who they really are as an individual. So a stereotype for example, might make you that much more interested in someone, but in many ways you are projecting your own ideas on the person. People would likely say that because I'm so intensely interested in west indian culture and rastafarianism then if I meet a rasta with dreads I'll immediately fall in love with the idea of him, even if normally his personality traits etc wouldn't have me crushin head over heels. This is what I think about the idea of fetishizing a person.
So where are white guys concerned? It gets complicated. In a way when my girls and I talk about white guys its always an seen as an unconventional idea, "well you better go find you a white boy." It's always said somewhat comically. I took a lot of shit for dating a white guy in high school, but only so much because I'm also white, Im bi-racial. I think white guys are always super surprised when you are interested in them, for this reason you have to approach them completely differently from the way in which you would approach a black guy. At least that's how its been in my experience, I've had to make things very plain, unless the white guy is particularly forward and comfortable with different cultures etc. himself. Normally a white guy who a black girl is crushing on would need to be extremely open minded anyway, to have avoided buying into a lot of signifying icons and images of black women in popular culture and being therefor jaded by them and thus likely to be similarly prone to fetishizing her.
So the question I'm asking myself is if I'm guilty of recent fetishism. I'm going to let myself off the hook and say no. I'm attracted to people who have solid ideas about the way in which they govern their lifestyle. That is something that I appreciate, why? Because I know for a fact that someone who can stimulate me mentally, which often times means having a more existential conversation, becomes that much more physically attractive to me. We already know I have some ridiculous standards in terms of what I find to be attractive, so adding the physical attributes I look for to someone who is a lover of ideas (and deep thinking about the way in which you choose to live your day to day life) is an immediate plus.
I'd love to go on...but I'm already four minutes over the alotted study break and the editing is calling...
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