bliss

Perhaps I lied?

Or maybe not?

I said I was tired of the dating and the games, and this is true. But the connection I’m not tired of, the intimate relationship, the merging of consciousness, and here I’m not even talking sex. Hmmm, so…

I’m not sure what to blame my 6:30am giddiness on? But I can’t think straight!

So what happened?

I smiled to myself with Blu nestling into my ears as I stared up into the Hillhouse canopy, made sure not to step on the cracks in the sidewalk, and wondered about the magnificence of such defined rays of sunshine streaming down through the leaves. I watched the dust particles swirl around in them and felt so lucky to be witnessing this; did anyone else see how wonderful it was?

Not quite sure it was the nature that was really influencing me however… I think it was approaching it from the memory of warm fingers tracing across my pelvic lines as I faded off to sleep. Coming off of that lightheaded glee, the memory of book suggestions, thoughtful inquiries, conceptualizing identities, the mystery of question quotas weighing down on my eyelashes as the comfort of feeling fierce sleep twitches coaxed me to sleep with a smile across my face.

Atypical? The ease with which these two…

I can’t even finish my thoughts!

I feel as if I’ve been cheating myself. Not wanting to allow the concept of another kind of comfort just as wonderful if not moreso creeping in, not with the old shadow still hanging around. Perhaps that wasn’t the only reason though, outside of my responsibilities I don’t think I had much mind space to give to anything else, anyone else. No point dwelling on the past, but there is always time to pause and reflect.

The reflection has led to this simple conclusion: this man sets the bar high.

The man seems wonderful (and of course terrible timing).

This man is brilliant, beautiful, built, funny, confident, and comfortable. And this woman is feeling more blissful than I have in quite some time. That is all for now.