i hadnt written for two full months and im still not sure i have the time...got a crazy headache though. perhaps ill nap and then see if i can write. i miss writing. and ive not written so much that has happened.

rain: past, present and future

when i come home it rains

it makes me think of trev

my first love

we were two kids who ran out in the rain

if it poured we dropped everything

missed class, skipped lunch, pushed off homework, ditched friends,

ours was a love that thrived in the rain

a scarily real and intense puppy love

deep thoughts, pounding heart, passionate people

who fed off each other and our love of the rain

we were thinkers, athletes, feelers, lovers

we were young and smart and full of potential

we were cutting edge

together yet open, yet hopelessly devoted

whenever i come home it rains

i come home after all-nighters, too much alcohol, finals, papers, the ends of eras

i come home after milestones are reached

i come home and sleep for days

do laundry

eat real food and cleanse my body

i come home to my parents love

to church, family, neighborhoods of grass and trees and forest

i come home to the familiar that i didn't know i missed

i come home to write

and every time i come home it rains

it rains to wash away my tiredness

my headaches, my lightheadedness

it rains to wash away the layer of dirt thats built up on my body in the form of too little sleep, too much gossip, and spreading myself too thin

the rain lets those late night conversations with the ones i love sink in

it aids how i process everything

it makes it just cold enough to wrap myself in family afghans on those big plush purple couches

the rain is home to me

every time i come home it rains and to me its a reminder of god's promise

that i have a place

that it is a familiar one

one where i belong

one where i am safe, and can stop over here to forget my troubles and halt my travels

since im always moving from place to place

i love that every time im home it rains, and i can walk barefoot on wet grass and smile up at the sky and remember, and think, and pray, and thank

love like this

i used to think my parents werent in love anymore

it was so sad to me as i pondered it

i wondered about it

how they fell out of love

how they first fell in love

was there passion

or is it just a team that works

but to see them together now

they are like kids again

i think the situation and the circumstances used to suck the life from them

they let the world get them down

now as they pray and grow

meditate and cleanse their bodies

they are step in step

sneaking snuggles they think i don't see

writing each other love notes that i stumble upon behind them

it gives me hope & reassurance

my parents are in love

i used to think i wanted a love like shihan

but now i know i want a love like this

a love that works for me

a fire that cannot be put out

i realize at times the passion may seem to wane

for a month or two

but it might just be the stress of the world

a month or two for a short relationship

might be a year or more for a long one

seeing my parents together now is a lesson i have learned

they are taught

they are teachers who never stop teaching

i want a love like this

a beautiful love that's like wine

a polar opposites

light and dark

loud and quiet

short and tall

poor & poor, but so rich